by Dr. JL Knight | Dec 2, 2019 | Communication, Life Coaching, Seven Steps
Have you struggled with communicating with others at times? While it’s great to be an expert at math, science, or social studies, there’s another subject that will do more for your success in life: Communication. Those with great communication skills have an easier time in life!
Communication skills aren’t covered as heavily as other subjects in school, and this is unfortunate. It’s worth the time to enhance this important set of skills, even if you’re already a good communicator.
Keep these techniques in mind when communicating with others:
- Use the right amount of eye contact. There’s a fine line between too much and too little eye contact. If you don’t have enough eye contact, people will either think you’re submissive or disinterested. If you have too much eye contact, you’re viewed as aggressive. Finding the middle point allows you to be seen as likeable.
- A good general rule to follow is to maintain eye contact when either of you is speaking. Break eye contact when there is silence. This simple rule will improve your eye contact immensely. Experiment and see for yourself.
- If maintaining eye contact is uncomfortable for you, study the other person’s eyes. What color are they? How big are their pupils? Imagine you’re an artist and you have to draw the other person’s eyes. You’d look very closely. Surprisingly, this can greatly reduce any anxiety you might be feeling.
- Listen better. If you want to be known as a great conversationalist, become a great listener. There are so few people interested in truly listening to another person that you’ll really stand out! Eye contact is part of being a good listener.
- Wait until the other person is finished before speaking. Avoid interrupting anyone.
- Give your full attention. This is more than just maintaining eye contact. It’s possible to look someone in the eye and think about something else. Keep your attention on the other person.
- Ask open-ended questions. It’s hard to keep a conversation going if you ask questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. Ask questions that require a more substantial answer. It’s also a good idea to avoid answering questions with a one-word answer. Explain yourself.
- Be aware of your body language. Your body language can make others view you as open and inviting or closed off. Avoid crossing your arms and legs. Turn and face people while you’re communicating. Smile.
- Know the purpose of the communication. What is the goal? Have a goal for every interaction, even if that goal is just to enjoy yourself. If you’re negotiating a business deal, the goal is to negotiate the best possible deal for your side. Let your goal guide you throughout the conversation.
- Be certain that you understand. It’s easy to misinterpret what someone is attempting to communicate to you. Take the time to ensure that you’ve understood the other person correctly. Ask questions. Ask for clarification if you’re unsure of the other person’s message. Restate what you believe the other person communicated to you.
- Be certain that you’re understood. It’s just as important to ensure that the other person is clear on what you’re communicating. Ask questions and ensure that you’ve been understood. Ensure that you’re being clear in your message.
How well do you communicate with others? Even if you’re a master at communication, you could be even better. Most people don’t communicate nearly as well as they could. Enhancing your communication skills is an easy way to give a significant boost to multiple areas of your life.
You Can Do It!
Copyright © 2019
The Business Transformation Coach, LLC
by Dr. JL Knight | Jul 16, 2019 | Components of Transformation, Decision Making, Discipline, Life Coaching, Mindset
Everyone makes mistakes. When I make a mistake, I own it. I learn from the error and am bettered by it. (I Can Do It)
I accept accountability for my decisions and actions. Being responsible is a way of being and thinking for me. It empowers me, because I feel increased control over events in my life. (I Can Do IT)
I take equal pride in my strengths and shortcomings. I refrain from making excuses. Instead, I develop resolutions. Resolutions are an acknowledgement of the challenges I face, coupled with a solution for overcoming.
For others, it may be easier to be irresponsible. Being accountable is demanding, but I rise to the occasion. I police my own actions because I have a responsibility to myself. I must be able to depend on myself before others can.
When I voice responsibility for my actions, others notice. I am an example for them to follow because I am reliable and trustworthy. They know they can depend on me. Because I am dependable, my decisions and actions affect and influence theirs.
Persistence, honesty, and integrity are fundamental traits I possess. I rely on these traits when I accept accountability for shortcomings.
Today, my ability to accept responsibility has a positive impact on others. I am looked to for guidance. I seek new ways to guide others. It feels great to know others can rely on me to help them overcome obstacles.
Self-Reflection Questions:
- Whom do I look to for guidance?
- How has being accountable had a positive impact in my life?
- Have I seen examples of the adverse effects of being irresponsible?
By Dr. Jacqueline L. Knight
The Business Transformation Coach, LLC
Copyright © 2019
by Dr. JL Knight | Jul 1, 2019 | Decision Making, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, Mindset, Personal Transformation
Finding a competent and compatible coach is only half the battle. It’s also important to develop your own coachability.
If you’re like most professionals, you probably want to succeed, but you may resist coaching for reasons that you’re not even aware of. However, you can develop skills and qualities that will prepare you to accept guidance and act on it.
Learn how to become more coachable. Use this checklist to find the areas you need to work on so you can have a successful relationship with your coach.
Communication Skills:
- Listen closely. Pay attention to what your coach has to say. Look for the truth in any message instead of dismissing their perspective or trying to make excuses. Maintain eye contact and resist any urge to interrupt.
- Ask questions. Ensure you understand what your coach is telling you. Paraphrase their statements in your own words. Clarify any points you’re unsure of and ask for concrete examples.
- Take your time. Let yourself absorb information fully. Focus on responding thoughtfully rather than quickly. If a situation stirs up strong feelings, give yourself an opportunity to calm down so you can think clearly.
- Welcome feedback. Ask others for input frequently and graciously. It helps to stay in practice and have multiple viewpoints while you’re working with your coach.
- Watch your body language. Ensure that your gestures and expressions are friendly and consistent with your words. Coaches are human. It’s easier for them to fully engage with you when they feel respected and appreciated.
- Open up. Recognize that there is more than one way to approach the same goals. Consider your coach’s suggestions even when they’re different from your usual methods.
Other Skills and Qualities:
- Value learning. Are you excited about adding to your knowledge and stretching your skills? Learning is a mindset that helps you to make sounder decisions and adapt to change. It can also motivate you to persevere through the coaching process.
- Set goals. While your coach can help you to reach your goals, you need to be sure that your targets are specific and meaningful for you. Write your goals out and tell others about them so you’ll feel more accountable.
- Adjust your expectations. Do you understand the difference between coaching and consulting? A consultant is usually hired to fix a specific issue. A coach works with you to build your strengths so you can achieve the outcomes you desire.
- Cultivate gratitude. Thank your coach for the positive impact they make in your life. Putting their insights into action is also an effective way to show them that they’re making a difference.
- Be humble. Remember that your coach and anyone you meet has valuable things that they can teach you. Tame your ego so you can create productive relationships and take advantage of rewarding opportunities.
- Practice consistently. How can you take what you learn from coaching and use it to make positive changes in your work life? Develop a strategy for enhancing your performance and set specific goals for areas where you want to grow. Deliberate practice requires discipline and effort, but it pays off.
- Evaluate your progress. Self-examination is an important part of the coaching process. Reflect on the areas that you’ve already covered and what you want to do next. Enjoy discovering more about yourself and your abilities.
Being coachable is about being ready and willing to learn and grow. Unlock your potential so you can achieve greater personal and professional success. Coaching can help you to clarify your vision and leverage your strengths if you know how to use the resources your coach provides.
Written by:
The Business Transformation Coach, LLC
Copyright © 2019
by Dr. JL Knight | Feb 18, 2017 | Life Coaching
Do you know that you have more to offer, but struggle to understand how to apply yourself in order to achieve your goals? Do you find it difficult to believe that you have the ability to fulfill your dreams and live the life that you have always wanted to have?
Many people struggle each and every day with a sense that they will never live up to their full and true potential. And unfortunately, many of those individuals will never overcome the personal mental barriers and fears that prevent them from accomplishing their life’s purpose.
But, there is good news for those who are willing to ask for help. With personal life coaching and personal development training, anyone can achieve their true potential. They can reach their goals and find that something special within themselves that will make their life feel more complete.
How Personal Life Coaching Can Help
So, what is personal life coaching exactly? Life coaching is a process for individuals to undertake with the help of a coach, who will have a number of conversations with the individual and provide mentoring and advice based upon what is needed by the client. During the process, individuals – or even groups – will be asked questions that help them to really examine their lives through a whole new set of eyes and from an unbiased, knowledgeable perspective.
Some questions will be relatively straightforward: are you happy with the way your life is going? What are you looking to improve in your life – the way you accomplish your work, the amount of and quality of time that you have for your family? Other questions will require more thoughtful answers.
These questions are designed to help the life development coach see to the obstacles that stand between the client and their ultimate success in realizing their goals. These questions encourage the life coach’s clients to focus on their fears, their challenges, and on whether or not they are committed to reaching their stated goals.
Developing A Path For Success
Based on the answers to all of the questions that a life coach asks – the easier and the more difficult questions – a life coach will work with his or her client to re-structure the way that the individual approaches their life, work and problems. In part, this may mean that the client will be thinking differently about how to solve problems or defining an effective strategy towards reorganizing their lives in a positive way. It may also mean that the client will begin to condition him or herself to actually reach his or her goals.
Sometimes, the personal life development coach will recognize that the individual’s real goals differ from his or her stated goals in a number of ways. When this happens, the life coach will help his or her client see the contradictions between their stated and real goals.
In order to help with this conditioning, a life coach is dedicated to teaching their client’s how to use tools that will boost their level of self-accountability. He or she will work with the client to help them overcome their fears and stumbling blocks, so they are better able to achieve their goals – their personal goals, their professional goals and even, in many cases, their financial goals.
Reaching goals, like life coaching itself, is a process. Unlike a therapist, a life coach will not work with his or her client to discover the roots of their problems. Instead of looking to the past, a life coach will help their client look to the future. At the end of the process, an individual will be able to clearly identify his or her goals and develop the tools and resources that are needed to achieve them.
Final Thoughts…
Whether the client desires to work towards owning and operating their own business, accelerating their career, finding balance between work and family, or merely looking for a way of identifying what will make them truly happy in their own lives, a personal life coach is an ideal partner.
It must be noted that the job of the life coach is not to take you from Point A to Point B; instead, he or she will help you to learn the mental tools that you will need to reach your destination on your own and to provide encouragement along the way.
The Business Transformation Coach, LLC.
