Ever Wondered Why Others Try to Hold You Back

by | Jun 23, 2019 | Uncategorized

By Dr. Jacqueline L. Knight

Copyright 2019

The Business Transformation Coach, LLC.

All Rights Reserved.

Guess what, when you’re trying to change your life, there will be people that feel the need to get in your way. A few of them might actually believe they’re trying to help you, but they’re not. They want you to stay just the way you are. That way, they can feel comfortable about not improving themselves, too.

It’s frustrating to find out that few people are on your side, but it’s something that must be managed if you want to succeed.

See how others may try to derail your success:

  1. They point out your past failures. We’ve all failed numerous times in the past. Some people in your life will undoubtedly bring up those failures in an attempt to sabotage your efforts.
    • Suppose you decide you want to climb all the 14,000-foot+ peaks in the US. You might be reminded by a “friend” that you couldn’t even climb the 2,000-foot peak at summer camp. They might even suggest that you come up with a more reasonable goal.
  1. They will try to make you feel guilty. Guilt is another weapon. Sticking with our mountain climbing theme, you might be told that all that travel is expensive. You might also be told that you should be saving all the money for your child’s college education. Or maybe you should spend all that time with your family instead.
  2. They try to distract you. “Hey, forget the mountains. Let’s all go on a big vacation together instead.”

These are just a few of the less devious ways those around you might try to sabotage your efforts. But why would they do it in the first place? It doesn’t seem kind and supportive, and it’s not. Though they might try to present it that way.

 

There are several reasons why people close to you try to sabotage your efforts:

  1. They want to stay comfortable with their mediocrity. If you do something amazing, they have to deal with the fact that they have not. No one wants to feel like they’re losing the game of life. Rather than deal with their own fear, insecurity, and laziness, it’s just easier and less work to hold you back.
  2. Jealousy. While there are some people that are genuinely happy to see you achieve something great, win the lottery, or lose 50 pounds, there are even more that are jealous. They’ll try to stop you from being successful. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll attempt to diminish the value of your success.
    • For example, “Oh, if I had all of your free time, I could easily lose 50 pounds, too.”
  1. People don’t like change. Everyone is getting something from you. If they got nothing out of their relationship with you, they wouldn’t associate with you at all. If you change, it threatens the status quo. If you become something different, where does that leave them?
    • It’s psychologically easier for them if you just stay the same.
    • Consider keeping your big goals to yourself. You receive less resistance from others. Choose what’s best for your life and do it! You don’t need the approval of others.
    • Commit to your own goals for the right reason. Impressing others is a shallow reason for doing something. Do it for yourself.
    • The solution is to commit to being successful in spite of the objections of others. You might want to consider removing the worst offenders from your life. Life is hard enough without having your own friends and family trying to make it even harder.  You Can Do It! Strong Faith, Strong Finish!
Increase Your Productivity: Plan at Night and Think Less During the Day

Increase Your Productivity: Plan at Night and Think Less During the Day

by | Feb 4, 2019 | Productivity, Uncategorized

Nighttime is magical. We’re all so wise at night. We can plan out the perfect day, but then our plans go awry once the day gets here. The reason for this is that we try to make decisions on the fly, and we’re too influenced by what feels good in the moment. 

Consider these ideas for effective planning at night and then following through with those plans:

  1. Know your goals. What do you want to accomplish? You can’t make effective plans until you know what you’re trying to do. If you don’t know what your goals are in the short and long term, now is the time to set them.
  2. Set aside time each night to plan the next day. Each evening, at a certain time, plan out what you’re going to do the following day. Do this with the same regularity as brushing your teeth.
  3. Be ruthless with prioritization. It’s imperative to prioritize your activity. Time is at a premium, so it’s important to maximize its utility. There’s a limit to how much you can accomplish each day. Ensure that you’re getting the most important things accomplished. You can determine the priority based upon your goals.
    • Ideally, your list will be quite short. If you have 10 things on your list, you have things that are minimally important. Stick to the most important things.
    • You can make another list for things that can be done after the items on the first list are accomplished.
  4. Make your evening decisions count.  At night, it’s easy to decide that you’re going to go to the gym the following day. It’s easy to decide that you’re going to eat in a healthy manner. It’s during the day that you struggle to make wise decisions.
    • How many times have you planned on going to the gym at a certain time, only to talk yourself out of it when the time came?
    • The solution is to make as few decisions as possible during the day. Make your decisions at night and then just focus your energy on executing during the day. Avoid giving yourself the opportunity to change your mind. Just believe that you made the right choice the night before.
  5. You can defeat procrastination. You made good decisions last night, so there’s no reason to delay beginning your day. When you prioritize your activities, you can be confident that you’re spending your time well.

Make your decisions when you’re decision-making powers are at their best – at night. It’s obvious what you should eat tomorrow to be at your best. It’s obvious that you should go to the gym, read a chapter of a certain book, or meditate for 20 minutes. It’s much harder to follow through on them when that time comes.

Make your plan at night and then focus on executing it. Avoid allowing yourself to make decisions regarding those items during the day. You already thought about them and made your decisions. There’s no reason to re-negotiate them.

Sit down and make a plan each night for the following day. Fight like mad to stick to the plan the next day. You’ll love the results!

You Can Do It!

By Dr. Jacqueline L. Knight

Copyright © 2019 The Business Transformation Coach, LLC. All Rights Reserved.